The Stars Between Us
by ThatMandalorianChick
Summary: She can hear him, but it is only a whisper in her long forgotten mind. His voice is like a soft breeze, it feels cool on her skin, it feels good. She waits because that's all she's ever known. A slightly abstract Amy/Eleven.
1. The Stars Between Us

"_I can't remember when it was good, moments of happiness in you. Maybe I just misunderstood, all of the love we left behind."_

Muse, 'Falling Away With You'**.**

* * *

'_Amelia_.'

She can hear him, but it is only a whisper in her long forgotten mind. His voice is like a soft breeze, it feels cool on her skin, it feels good. She waits because that's all she's ever known. She doesn't rush to meet him, nor cower and hide, she waits. As soon as she looks up at the sky she notices the stars splayed out over the curtain of deep blue. There are no wonders or supernovas, all the adventures, the games, the joy is gone. And will always be gone.

If the connection was already fading its gone now. _Perhaps it's only right_ she thinks., _perhaps it is better this way. _Her mind isn't very convincing. Liquid starshine splashes across the barren ocean in her mind. She has him, but not _him. _Never again. No more sweet nothings, fleeting glances, lingering touches. She's tired of waiting now, standing at the back, in a blurred haze. She had shot for the sky, now chained to the ground. The iridescence of the starlight radiates onto her solitary form.

What's left of her is an empty shell. All life has ebbed away; all her life and dreams are still in the sky. With _him_. Always with him. He is, was and will always be everything. Every single second, every single moment of her infinite universe screams his melodic name. This life will never be enough. No matter how elaborate or ornate her birdsong music is, it will always be drowned out by the sound of his name. She clutches it to her soul, keeps it tucked away within her bulletproof box.

The moonshadow above her forms a swirling river of glass at her feet. She doesn't cry, nor does she weep. She bleeds him a river.

* * *

It's no secret that she's just teetering over the edge, with only the crystal thin balance of sanity waiting to catch her. The moon is pale and the stars are glittering. And there goes a meteorite as it shoots across her eyes, creating wavelengths of distant anguish within her. She's not really there as he's noticed before. She is there, but just hovering. He tries again.

'_Amelia.' _

Just one word. Just one last hope. One last harness to bring her back to him. _Please_, he whispers, _come on Pond, please_.

She waited, he came. But now she's tired of waiting. And he is too late. He can't even reach her; no stars could create a path across both of their far away skies. The alternate universes waiting to collide. But oh, she is tired of waiting. No connection, no matter how powerful, could reach her now.

_Here it comes_, he thinks, _here comes the days that never came. _He can feel her heartbeat pounding through the glimmering nebulas, her picture perfect portrait unwinding in the constellations. Thick smudges of powdery stardust sprawl into infinity and degrade into nothingness. The candle-light rainbow of collected memories paints itself throughout him. She's just another water-coloured memory now.

She has to open up, but she won't. He knows that she won't. It's not in her layout; it's not in her design. She doesn't listen, she wanders off on her own, because she knows he will come for her no matter what. But _he can't_. Not now, not ever. The fire that burned between them is going out, the light is fading. He knows it's useless. He thought that maybe, just maybe, it would work but instead the spark has drowned. It's coming down, down, down.

* * *

She can't carry it all. The stars are burning too brightly; the universe is slipping out of her head. She tries to grasp the wind whispering into her ear, but it just slips. She can hear it but she can't. It's like being stuck behind a wall eleven metres thick. The stars fall from her eyes, the galaxies pour from her heart and the blue, blue box sits safely in her soul.

She can't kindle the fire, because _it's not there_. She can bask in its heat but it's just a dazzling illusion. The planets bend between her thoughts; a tunnel opens inside her head. She fumbles for it, she falls for it and it's gone. The wind tugs at her ear persistently, he's there, and she knows he's there. Just around the corner, but she's frozen in the moment. Warm yellow light tumbles into her head. This time she doesn't reach out for it, she lets it find its own way through the wreckage.

She glows. She is vibrant. Then she hears him.

'_Amelia_.'

Long, lasting and beautiful, the word floats through her very being and she knows that _he is here_. She weeps, and the yellow light envelops her. The stars pulse with her every breath. Not just hovering now, she is flying. The cold solstice is resolute. The colours spread out before her, over her and through her. The tears she shed fall and disperse embers through her flame.

'_Amelia_.' She can hear it she can feel it, she is it. His voice depletes the roar of universe as it prowls through her own vortex. '_Amelia, Amelia_.'

The pulsars create a garden, surrounding her with soft glows of colour and warm, comforting heat. The blue, blue box stirs from its resting place within her troubled soul. He's in there, in the box, deep within her soul.

'_My Amelia_.'

The whispers turn into a chorus of harmonies, illuminating her mouth as she struggles to find the right reply. He gives her time, because he is time. He gives himself to her. Even the angels of stone could not keep them from creating the bridge between the crystal hourglass. The violet hour is upon them.

With shimmering light she delicately rolls the most beautiful word off her spellbound tongue.

'_Doctor.'_


	2. Seven Seconds Left Behind

"_This is the way the world ends_

_This is the way the world ends_

_This is the way the world ends_

_Not with a bang but a whimper. " _

_T.S. Eliot: the Hollow Men_

* * *

'_**Amy, what are you doing?'**_

In the seven seconds that she had left to choose she thought about the stars

'**That gravestone. Rory's.'**

She thought about the way they had shown her so much and she had hoped that maybe they could reveal the right path now.

'**There's room for one more name, isn't there?'**

For the first second her head spun.

'_**What are you talking about?'**_

She imagined every single burst of light that she had witnessed, every happy moment she had ever experienced.

'_**Back away from the angel.'**_

All of time and all of space swam circles in her mind. All of the ties that she had smiled and laughed and cried. It was ll because of _him._ Not Rory. Something flipped in her stomach. She could hear him, the soft breeze in her vast and open mind. _This is so wrong, all of this is wrong. _She sobbed in agreement.

'_**Come back to the Tardis.'**_

She could spell out every single second where she had felt at home with him. All that time in that glorious blue box. All that time that _he_ kept locked up safe in his box. That blue, blue box. _You love him. _And there he was again, whispering softly in her head. No, I don't. She wanted to scream those words out loud but she couldn't. There was no reply.

'_**We'll figure something out.'**_

_I love Rory_, she told herself, _I do_. She frowned as chaos erupted from deep within her. _I do. _She flinched because he could tell that she was lying. He was trying to make it all better.

'**The angel,** **would it send me back to the same time,** **to him?'**

She had spent so much time with Rory. But that could never compare to every time she realised that this was better than home. That _she belonged_ here. With _him_. With her raggedy doctor.

'_**I don't know.'**_

She loved Rory, but _he_ was so much different. He electrified her, and he terrified her.

'_**Nobody knows.'**_

He wasn't being honest, she could tell. He was sneakily trying to convince her to stay with him. And she wanted to. But she couldn't.

'**But it's my best shot, yeah?' **

Being torn from the inside out wasn't pleasant. She wanted to scream, to fall down in front of him and claw at her hair. She wanted him to comfort her and she wanted to forget. She wanted him to stay silent whilst she wept and when it was over she wanted to be held. She was hoping that it wasn't her best shot.

'_**No!'**_

It was the desperation in his voice that got her worked up. He knew that this was the only way, and yet he still wanted to fight it.

'_**Amy-' **_

No. No more fighting . He couldn't stop her from doing this. It will hurt but it will heal. She loves him, but she can't.

'**Well then. I just have to blink right?'**

It was quite funny how your life can be destroyed with a flutter of an eyelid. She didn't want to but she had to. She knew she would only double all his pain and misery. She would send him to permanent loneliness.

'_**No, Amy, please.' **_

_I'm sorry, Amelia. _And there he was again with a voice like honey, smooth and calm. _A certain darkness is needed to see the stars._

'**It'll be fine. I know it will. I'll be with him like I should be.'**

She could feel him hurt, as his hearts panged with her words. _I'm sorry, my love._

'**Me and Rory together.'**

It was after all, her choice. Amy's choice. Choose between the two most important people in her entire life. She knew which one she loved, she knew that both of them loved her back. She knew which one of them would be with her forever. She had to make a choice. She had to leave the one she loved to stop from hurting.

'_**Stop it! Just, just, stop it!'**_

_Amelia please listen to me. Please. _She wants to be she knows that she can't. It will never ever work between them. She's no Time Lady. The earlier she leaves him the better. It will hurt, it will. She will ache for years later. She will never love Rory as she loves him. Rory will never be enough, but he will be sufficient.

'_**You are creating a fixed time.'**_

_Amy. _She chokes back on tears as she fights to keep her decision firm. It's all about him, the raggedy man, with the flying box in space. He is everything and he is nothing. But he is most definitely something. She could do anything just to be by his side forever. But she _can't._

'_**I will never be able to see you again.'**_

And me you, she whispers back. I'm so sorry.

'**I'll be fine, I'll be with him.'**

She doesn't want to be, but she has to. She must. He understands, she knows, but he doesn't know why she doing it. If he ever found out, she wouldn't know what to do.

'_**Amy, please. Just come back into the Tardis.'**_

Oh that box. That blue, blue box. The one she saw so many times in her wild dreams. That same box that haunted the back of her mind all the way through her and Rory's wedding. She'd never really loved him after all, only ever loved the raggedy man.

'_**Come along, Pond. Please.'**_

Those words waver her firm decision. I can't, she whispers, I'm so sorry, but I just can't.

Her words carry through his head like a whirlwind of stardust. They pierce his hearts like a burning flame. She grimaces. _Why? _He whispers, and she cannot reply.

In those seven seconds she breaks her heart over and over and over. His hearts snap in two. She turns to face him and his hearts sink. And for one moment, just one shining moment she is the most beautiful thing in the whole of creation. The thought is mutual. They lay a chaotic mess on the floor of time and his universe cracks.

'**Raggedy man, goodbye.'**

* * *

But all of this is a secret

Buried six feet under

A smile of closed teeth-

It is with a whimper,

And not a bang,

That a heart breaks.


End file.
